You know all those ‘clever’ expressions like “there’s no I in team” or “assuming makes an ass out of u and me” ? Well, I’m experimenting with guilt – an emotion I am plagued by.
Today we gave the puppy a bath. Having a fluffy white bottom, any messy toilet experiences unfortunately show rather clearly. After the bath, the puppy went beserk. He wanted to get on the sofa and once there he spun around in a circle scratching and headbutting and biting the sofa seat. If I tried to pick him up he just wriggled from side to side endlessly trying to nip me. Finally he settled on our son’s jacket, looking a little cold and disheveled but calm, at last. I moved him into a basket of laundry awaiting washing (he seems to love being among pre-worn clothes) and put him in the sun. He stayed there for a good period, resting.
During the beserk period, though, I felt wracked by guilt. What had I done? Was the water too hot? Was the house too cold? Had I damaged him in some way?
Maybe he was just excited?
Why are some people so prone to blaming themselves while others (apparently) are so good at shucking off blame like a snake’s outgrown skin? It’s all about framing – how you frame your story. That’s why I like the pun of gilt and all being gold again.
But the problem with the “U” in guilt is that it’s really me. So I guess my cleverness is not quite so clever as I hoped. Gmeilt. Anybody heard of it?