What? You again! Please leave me alone. Isn’t there some tenancy agreement where I get to reside here without your interference?
My dear, I’m the tenant. Not you.
Shit… You’ve got a complaint then.
You should be pleased to see me.
Ha! Why would that be?
Because, my dear, you are on a tight rope above a crevasse.
Ummm no. I’m in the kitchen.
You think a kitchen precludes you from falling?
What on earth are you talking about?
Earth, yes. That’s right.
My dear, I thought you were eating less meat. Do you remember that?
Oh give me a break! It’s such a crap year. Are you really going to give me a hard time about that?
Tell me about the crap this year.
Yes. And on what do you blame the fires?
Oh alright. Smarty pants.
Any other crap?
Ah yes. And what do people say about pandemics and climate change?
I get it. I get it. But I love meat.
And cows love to eat too, my dear.
A billion people (let’s say, who eat beef)… how many cows are we feeding how many tonnes of grain and grass that we’re growing?
Hang on. Hang on. Where’s the tightrope you started with?
The tightrope, my dear, between what you really want and your better self.
I kicked my better self out. Gave her the flick. It’s much more peaceful that way. She was a pain in the arse. Wanted me to blog every day. Clean my teeth perfectly. Wash all the sheets every week. Verging on OCD, honestly. So I evicted her.