On the bus…

  • It’s a nosebag.
  • Excuse me?
  • It’s a digital nosebag.
  • What are you talking about?
  • News feed. Google feed. Facebook feed… that thing you’re holding is a modern nosebag.
  • I believe normal people call it a device or a phone.
  • Well some people call a spade a blooming shovel. What difference does it make? It’s a nosebag.
  • You are so annoying. Can you just leave me in peace, please?
  • I’m annoying because I don’t have my nose stuck in a nosebag when that is the popular way to behave these days. I am choosing to engage in conversation. Call it a social experiment.
  • Some people call a spade a blooming shovel. I call you annoying. Just piss off, please.
  • Sure. I hope you get a good feed today, mate. This is my stop, anyway. Cheers.

Later….

  • This annoying guy sat next to me on the bus this afternoon.
  • Annoying? How? Did he smell?
  • No. He looked and smelled fine. But he kept telling me my phone was a nosebag. A digital mix of feeds.
  • Your phone was a nosebag?
  • Exactly.
  • That’s an interesting thought. Do you know what a nosebag is?
  • Yes, dear. It’s something horses ate out of while they were pulling carriages. Jesus! Do you think I’m an idiot?
  • Well, it’s kind of funny then, right? All these people on public transport with their noses stuck into their devices.
  • Yeah. Funny. That’s not the point. He was annoying. The bus is my private time. My time for processing the day. Why are you taking his side?
  • I’m not taking his side. I’ve never met him. I just think it’s kind of a funny thought.
  • Well if he wants to be funny, he should do stand-up. I don’t need comics testing their material on me when I’m bussing home from work.
  • Okay okay. Calm down. Why don’t you go and get your nosebag and relax while I wash up?

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