- Good morning. I rang yesterday to pay for my husband’s parking infringement. You said you would send a receipt via email in half an hour. I haven’t received it.
- What was the infringement number.
- ********
- Ah yes. We didn’t get around to processing that. We were very busy.
- Oh I see. Well you offered a verbal contract that it would be done in half an hour. I’m afraid the penalty for failing to adhere to that contract is $120 so let’s call it square, shall we?
- Ha ha. We were very busy. We had some IT issues.
- Oh I see. So your busyness is worth more than the busyness of my husband and therefore annuls the contract? Where as my husband, who was very busy, must pay the parking fine even although he already paid $800 at the beginning of the year for a parking space which (between the bushfire smoke, the hailstorm and the pandemic) he has barely used. And even although you could look up on your computer the fact that Mr P Surname has an account with you and even although he too is actually busy, his time is worth less than yours?
- It’s a contract.
- Yes. And your computer system is so antiquated it can’t be changed to allow for the fact that people might actually drive more than one vehicle. No no, it must all be on the heads of the drivers to remember to switch numberplates on the system because woe betide you show any signs of being helpful.
- Do I need to hang up on you?
- I don’t know. Is that part of your service level agreement? You just keep taking money. Capitalism above customer service. I get it. Bye.
Imagine if I could pull this off..
Published
Out of the Cave 
You have a good imagination.
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😂
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I’ve dealt with these people from time to time; they do try one’s patience. I like your ‘voice’ 🙂
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I couldn’t do it. And anyway, they had processed it but probably put the wrong email address in. Bother! Damn! And why am I such a wuss?!
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Oh this would have been so funny if it were a true conversation! I so enjoyed this. 🤣
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I wish I could! I’m so meek in real life. I need to find my inner tiger. I wrote this in the middle of the night because I couldn’t sleep for thinking about how cranky these people make me. At least writing it helped me get to sleep.
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Oh I haaaaate that feeling of being so angry but so powerless. I’m sorry it messed up your sleep.
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It’s the way your humanity becomes somehow irrelevant to this system that outranks all around it – simply by virtue of its existence as a system.
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Yes. Well put. Computer says no, basically.
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