Today I went for my first walk since the surgery. I put on my new earrings and the holding-hands ring that my dear friend gave me before I went into hospital. I felt presentable and almost myself.
The walk wasn’t long but it had rained and the sun was leaning deeply into afternoon. The autumn colours were on stark display against the hulking purple of a thunderhead or in the enchanted fingers of bright-washed light.
My chest ached a little but the cool, damp air felt good. A little of the emptiness subsided – the fear that in the black drugged sleep, I lost more than just a slab of diseased flesh.
I found colour and the smell of wet earth and the happy cries of my children in a park. The dog, relieved to have me out and about again, had his fluffy tail set firmly over his back and his nose anchored to the rich-toned earth.
recently abandoned mine down the dark shaft a tiny orchid in bloom