Over the last week I have been reading JRR Tolkien’s “The Hobbit” to my children (and my husband and my parents). The kids and I have been enjoying the poetry therein and I’ve noticed he favours a certain rhyming pattern for the Dwarf songs. I thought I would use this pattern to write my “waltz” poem about some favourite Australian birds – galahs (pronounced gelars).
in the silver-grey gleaming light
summer shrapnel’s swirling flight
drifting squall, wafting fall
sun chinks slanting, cool and bright
galahs ascreech on telegraph wires
chattering in discordant choirs
preening idly, swinging wildly
smart their pink and grey attires
from my window can’t stop grinning
upside-down they’re flapping, spinning
one claw wrapped, wings aflap
catching droplets while still dinning
I wish the show would go on always
but when rain stops they go their ways
off and flying, cleaned and drying
leaving me with just video replays
Image by Alex Eckermann Unsplash
Written for Bjorn Rudberg’s dVerse prompt “Meet the Bar Waltzing”
I enjoyed the imagery in the second stanza. The rhymes throughout the poem feel so light and natural. Really nice.
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Thank you! 🙂
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a lovely playful piece and so good to get a new piece from ‘Worms’; always brightens my evening: I love that you captured their shenanigans on video so you can relive it anytime you want 🙂
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Yes. I would have tried (I use the word tried advisedly😂) to post the video but I can’t remember when it was and it would have taken me hours to find. Thanks for your lovely comment!! 🙂
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that’s fine, Worms; just got home from a night with my mates: it was fun to read this 🙂
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Love the flow of the aaba rhyme scheme
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Thank you.
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This is excellent. I love the first stanza. A joy to read.
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Thanks you!!
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I loved your use of rhyme scheme. The first stanza is superb with the use of alliteration. Thank you, got to know about Galahs today. 🙂
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Thanks so much. They’re lovely creatures.
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You are welcome. 🙂
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Sways beautifully, love their attire.
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Yes. They’re lookers aren’t they. 😂
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The rhythm in this poem is perfect … as are the lines. Cheers.
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Thank you!
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👏 👏 👏 Worms 👏 👏 👏
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A lovely rhythmical poem and a beautiful moment in nature captured. I also love the idea of you reading to your whole family 🙂
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Thanks, Ingrid. It has been lovely! And the galahs are hilarious and beautiful.
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Lovely rhythm to this, and those birds sound like fun to watch.
I also like the picture of you reading to your family. I do miss those times.
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Thank you. Thank you. 💕
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You’re welcome. 😀
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You know these winged beasties well and love how you chose your rhythm. Tolkien knew how to draw his readers, just like I was drawn into your waltzing poem.
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Thank you! Yes Tolkien is a fine example. 😃
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You’re very welcome.
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I loved the galah waltz!
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Thank you! 🙂
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Loved the poem – love the birds! (I’m in Aus too) – loved the introduction with the Hobbit.
Wonderful!
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Thank you. Lovely comments.
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Enjoyed reading your intro and how Tolkien inspired this write! Wonderful rhythm, I was tapping my foot as I read the verses. The second stanza was the favorite for me! 😍
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Thanks, Tricia. It was nice to remember. 😃
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Perfect form for fictional dwarves and real live birds.
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Many thanks. It was nice to have a template to work from. 🙂
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Wonderful! I was going to say it flows perfectly, but it has more of a marching beat to it, just right for dwarves.
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Lol. Dwarf galahs marching through Mirkwood. Hey ho. Hey ho.
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I love to see birds from another part of the world. I have never seen them flying but your poem makes me going to youtube
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Excellent. Galahs are quite special, I think.
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very well done, that was a lot of fun to read out loud, enjoyed it very much
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Oh Wonderful. I love that you read it aloud!! 😃
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I love this too. I’m in the States, and I can’t imagine being able to see these wonderful birds in the wild. Well, I suppose I can imagine (figure of speech!) and you helped bring that picture to light. Love your title too. 🙂
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Thank you. They are hilarious to watch in a rain shower. If I can find the video and have the technical know-how I will try and post it.
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🙂
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