More Celebrity Goss

fiction, media, Personal Reflection, poetry 2 Minutes

Hey! did you hear about that chick, Persephone?

You know, she was in in that movie

with Jason Gyllenhaal, yeah she’s gorgeous.

Remember that scene with all the flowers?

OMG soooo cheesy!

Anyway, so Persephone went off with her whack-job Uncle Hades.

I mean, he must’ve been a prick, right?

It’s like that Lolita movie, you know, like….

Is he a peddo or is she a slut? Urgh. So gross either way.

I dunno if he’s actually her uncle or if it’s like twice removed,

you know how it is. Daily Mail says one thing New Idea says another.

LOL who reads New Idea, right?

But the thing is, right, she’s marrying him!

Yeah, it’s all over Insta.!!!

In the photos she looks happy.

Even the ones that paparazzi idiot took at the beach.

Yeah, you didn’t hear?!! OMG

They went on this romantic weekend to Ibiza, right?

There they are, minding their own business and kapow

paparazzi swarming all over the fucking beach!!

I’m surprised Hades didn’t lose his shit.

He’s a big bloke. Could’ve done some damage.

Anyway, you know Persephone’s Mom?

She’s that singer … you know that song. It goes

“I saw you in the Vale of Nysa

your hair was lookin’ nicer

the underworld up in your visor!”

Oh it’s a great song! Check it out.

Anyway, the Mom tweeted last week saying

“Come back my darling girl”.

I felt sorry for her. Totally! But

people are giving her shit,

saying her daughter dresses way slutty.

Can you believe it?!!

People are so insensitive!

It’s like they totally forget these celebs are human.

Social media, right? Gimme a break!

Hey, did you see that Tik Tok video about Ed Sheeran? LOL!

What a dick!

This was written for the dVerse Poetics Prompt – Persephone.

I have long hidden and been ashamed of my complete lack of interest in Greek Mythology… or any other kind of mythology I can think of. For some reason I have never found it interesting which seems a terrible failure for an Arts student. So, in my poem, I have modernized it into a conversation about social media and celebrity gossip – two other things I fail to relate to. I think there are similarities. To me, in their day, the pantheon of Greek Gods probably were similar in their status and entertainment value to how celebrities are perceived now.

Published by abigfatcanofworms

We all walk in the dark. But if we hold hands, perhaps the dark won't be as scary.

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40 thoughts on “More Celebrity Goss”

  3. Ooh, this is brilliant, Worms. I love how you made this modern, as if the myth came to life in the year 2021. That is very clever, and I found it so funny as it does resemble the social media world and gossip. I fail to relate to it too, though I try to engage with my friends when we discuss the batshit insanity of, for instance, Oli London. It’s too crazy and disturbing to me, especially when it intrigues the psychology interest I have so of course I engage and theorize lol.

    But I digress, sorry about that. 😀 You have the gossip talk spot on here, and the paparazzi swarming in on Hades and Persephone, I loved that. I can see Hades killing them and then having a nice martini with his niece–abductee–wife.

    Very well written and depicted, I love how different this response is compared to other poems I’ve read addressed to the dVerse prompt. Also, I don’t have much of an interest in Greek mythology either even if my interests do lie in the arts; I don’t know, it just never was something that intrigued me. I only know of the entire myth here because of high-school and english class, hahaha. It just stuck with me and how peculiar it is. But, I wouldn’t be ashamed of it or view it as a failure, your disinterest in it, Greek myths can be boring as shit and I only had the misfortune of reading a couple.

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    1. Ha ha ha!! Thanks, Lucy, for your support. 🙂 Glad I’m not the only one who thinks it’s all a bit… meh. So glad you engaged with it. It was fun to write. Just to show how UNENGAGED I am, I have no idea who Oli London is. Will google shortly. 😀

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  6. This was so funny and entertaining! I love the idea of the Greek Gods being viewed as the celebrities of their day. They probably were, though it would be difficult to catch a glimpse of them topless on a beach…

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  9. Hate to break it to you, but you’re a perfect caster of myth. The old myths fascinate me because they come from the deepest regions of consciousness. Jung and James Hillman thought the myths wrote our biographies long ago. Your knowledge of the Persephone myth is acute — if you didn’t read it, your sure see it.

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    1. I read it to write about it. Most fiction is about the human story – whatever the genre. These myths are the same stories. Sure, they might be older, they might even be “the original” but i haven’t seen a telling that grabbed my imagination. And, in general, I relate better to realistic fiction. I don’t do well with Fantasy. This world and our own quiet powers are sufficient for me. I don’t buy easily into other worlds. I never did fairies as a child. I never had religion. Myths are set in those other worlds and to me character gets lost in all the rest. I love people. Real, solid, earthly people. Obviously myths speak to you but they don’t speak to me.

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