in the shower, she enjoys singing
notes larking and spurling
twisting curlicues escape the window
men pass by: smart suits, thin ties
and see the steam with its ride of melody
they hear hair like rivers running satin
and creamy shoulders bare as sunshine
and hip bones wrapped in peach skin
they picture fringed eyes, secretive and moon grey
never knowing that her heart is an empty fridge
As a fellow not beautiful person, I hear you. I’ve accepted society to an extent. What I find more irritating is descriptions of beautiful characters in creative writing that are usually dull, because beautiful people are so often described in the same way. That’s why I love your “her heart was an empty fridge” because it’s so unexpected and spot-on.
I was really digging this fine work, Worms, and wondered, as I read, how the fridge was going to show up…then WHAMMO!!
Outstandingly twigalicious. Thanks!
It’s fantastic. The last sentence ‘her heart is an empty fridge’. Made me think of a song by SUM41 ‘matters of heart are hard to adress, specially when it’s full of emptiness’
“her heart is an empty fridge” – amazing description. I feel like I know people like this. I really enjoyed this one
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Thanks, JYP!! ๐ Probably because I am not beautiful, I find the emphasis on beauty and appearance in our society very shallow and irritating.
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As a fellow not beautiful person, I hear you. I’ve accepted society to an extent. What I find more irritating is descriptions of beautiful characters in creative writing that are usually dull, because beautiful people are so often described in the same way. That’s why I love your “her heart was an empty fridge” because it’s so unexpected and spot-on.
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๐
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You aced this one.
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LOL. Or iced? ๐
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I think it’s very, very good.
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๐งก thanks! ๐
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I was really digging this fine work, Worms, and wondered, as I read, how the fridge was going to show up…then WHAMMO!!
Outstandingly twigalicious. Thanks!
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Thanks, Ron. ๐ Much appreciated.
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Funny, no-one passes anywhere near when I sing in the shower.
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I guess it depends where your bathroom is. And anyway, are you looking out the window?
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It’s fantastic. The last sentence ‘her heart is an empty fridge’. Made me think of a song by SUM41 ‘matters of heart are hard to adress, specially when it’s full of emptiness’
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Thanks Ulle!! ๐
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Ooh! I really like this one.
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Thank you! ๐
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Oh, exactly. This is very good.
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Thanks!!
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this one rocks ! A sharp little vignette with a chilling last line —
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Many thanks, John.
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you killed it !!!
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