Peridot Grim

fiction 1 Minute
Image by Narelle Autio – prize winning Australian Photographer

A Pantoum

the shark alarm rang, fat fear doused my skin
in peridot water,  soft toes clench sand
I race my bow wave in water’s prison
my ears ring such thunder- a blood based band

in peridot water, soft toes clench sand
‘neath angry sky, constabulary grim
my ears ring such thunder, a blood based band
I’m looking behind me, thighs like strychnine

‘Neath angry sky, constabulary grim
choke tight you’re clinging, cold little hands
I’m looking behind me, thighs like strychnine
throat ripped, toes shredded, but yet we gain land

choke tight you’re clinging, cold little hands
I’m retching, bent over, you’re by my chin
throat ripped, toes shredded, but yet we gain land
the shark alarm sounded, fat fear doused my skin

Published by abigfatcanofworms

We all walk in the dark. But if we hold hands, perhaps the dark won't be as scary.

Published

11 thoughts on “Peridot Grim”

  1. This is very atmospheric. It’s like that dream where you’re being chased and your legs don’t work properly so you get nowhere. Thank you for giving us the happy ending or it would have spoiled my weekend! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. THanks so much, K. Originally it was just blank verse and tbh I think it lacked something. But then I read Hobbo’s Triolet and admired the use of repetition and he reminded me of your Triolet which I’d also admired. And I thought about the build up of suspense and thought repetition might suit this poem about a Dad trying to get his little one to safety and so…. a pantoum was born. So your Triolet has had wonderful knock-on inspiration!

      Like

      Reply

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