written for Shay’s Word Garden (Stephen Dunn) and NaGloWriMo Day #1 (from book cover entitled “A Floral Fantasy in An Old English Garden”)
I think of you still: six floors up in the perpetual bland weather of hospitals As though it were an office our sense of you was paper — thin messages through the pandemic's static, such light wrappings for fear behind hingeless windows you couldn’t hear when the gramophone of dusk set birds playing and deep inside you knots kept tightening * that silken night I begged the moon to stay a little longer and watch with me the neighbour’s cat in tall Egyptian splendour on the wide stone wall but sleep blew in, a blizzard of dreams, papier mache livers unravelled between batting paws and a woman among roses held open a wooden gate and smiled as she left
Thanks for sharing these words ..Anita
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THanks, Anita, for reading.
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great title; I feel the terrible isolation of the office worker; not sure how the second section connects —
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Thanks for that feedback John. I need to clarify. The “you” character is in hospital, not an office. I think my reference to offices was confusing.
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I have made a couple of amendments that hopefully clarify the story a little
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ahhh that’s much better, Worms; the second section still seems disconnected from the first ?
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Hmm. OK. I will ponder it.
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*applause!*
an excellent write, Jo!
❤
David
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Thanks so much, David. I don’t know how I missed replying to this sooner. So kind of you to stop by and comment!
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This is as “there” as the window frame but at the same time it is as ethereal as mist. I disagree about the second half not following; I thought it flowed nicely and was cohesive throughout. My favorite bits were the title line and the Egyptian cat. I like very much that you morphed from hospitals and pandemics to the other side of Mortality, the unknown, the mysterious, the gift at the core of something so awful in its physical process. Me, I’m not the least bit afraid of passing over, but I am scared of the physical dying.
Okay, what is the “Glo” in NaGloWriMo? Neither Google nor your link wants to tell me.
Thanks for being part of the List!
–Shay
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Thanks, Shay. I agree with you. Death is not scary. Dying could be. I don’t know what the Glo stands for and I gave the link to the book titles, not to the prompting site. Sorry about that. This is the link to the prompting site. https://www.napowrimo.net/. It doesn’t have a glo in it but the text does.
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The “Glo” is for Global. So can be either NAtionalPOetryWRIteMOnth, or GLObalPOetryWRIteMOnth. It sort of started out nationally, but now pretty much everywhere.
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Ah. Thanks!
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Beautiful poeming. The first is so real and the second like a dream. The title is brilliant and Egyptian cat perfect.
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Thanks, Debi!
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Did you ever watch The Lion King and you get to the part where the clouds part and the ghost of Mufasa appears and starts giving advice to Simba after which Rafiki, the sage old monkey, shouts out like a stoner from the 70s “Whoa! What was that??” Yeah, that’s how I feel when I read your poems. 💫
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LOL. I’ll have to watch The Lion King again. It’s literally decades since I saw it and the exact implication of Rafiki’s cry has slipped my mind. 😂. But I think I want to say thank you!
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You’re very welcome! We watch LK frequently with our 3-yr-old granddaughter so it’s fresh in my mind (unlike most things!). It’s a great movie and I’ve been waiting for the chance to describe that fun scene. Thanks for giving me the opportunity! 😂
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This is a wonderful piece. You’ve set the scene in the hospital so well. The perpetual bland weather, the windows that don’t open. Deep inside you / knots kept tightening. Even the office reference creates a distance between the narrator and patient. A cloud. Then the shift to the dreaminess of the silken night, tall Egyptian cat and blizzard of dreams. Wow. There’s such a contrast from the deep, quiet suffering to this vivid, surreal space and exit. Feels like a short film. Standing ovation.
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Thank you so much. I so appreciate your comments!
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“when the gramophone
of dusk set birds playing” – oh my, yes!
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Awesome. Glad you like it.
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