Marketing Eyeroll

I can say this with a serious demeanour: toilet-paper marketers are dreamers! “Air wave texture!” they say. Were they born yesterday? It's just a posterior exit-hole cleaner!

Crapper Rap

There's a point where it stops being funny, flood in house, water in garage, misfit dunny. If you're ever unsure that you need to insure just take my four letter word for it, honey.

A Photo that needed a Limerick

Said Sammy to Sarah "Let's kiss" Said Sarah "My dear, what bliss." So they sealed their lips in three slimey sips and gave the rest of the wedding a miss.

Fix or Flee?

I really don't mean to denigrate the general desire to renovate but old houses suck up every buck in tiny problems that enervate.

Planet C

We’re calling for a moratorium on Scotty’s Gas Emporium. We respect the art of the giant fart but not Planet Crematorium!

My Son’s Idea

For the welfare of Equestrians Riders of stallions, geldings, mares or nags Listen up! Look, I don't mean to brag but I have safety news I'll save you a bruise: just fit your horse's head and feet with air bags!

Contribution vs Commitment

The limerick is mine. The idea isn't. The man was his breakfast a makin' of delicious fried eggs and bacon. Said the pig to the chook "Don't be such a sook! At least your life wasn't taken!"

Daftometer

There once was a man who had a propensity to say stupid things with vapid intensity Some wished him to fail so they created a scale to measure the extent of his extreme presidensity.

Copycat?

At what point will poets achieve their peak when it's no longer possible to be unique? Every time I pen a verse I wonder if I got there first... Or is it a subliminal plagiaristic streak?

The Button Presser

It's just how she and I intersect. For her it's a point of respect - when aiming for rile-up she's faster than dial up - it's as simple as "Click'n'Collect".